My Facey B and Twitter are awash with messages about International Widows Day. It’s pissed me off quite a bit because I find what it has turned into a bit ridiculous. International Widows Day was started initially to acknowledge the plight of widows in impoverished parts of the world. Women who have to beg for food. Women who are subject to violence because they don’t have a man to protect them. International Widows Day is not something to be claimed by the West and widows who’ve received shit loads of money in life insurance, but it feels like it’s turning into that. I’m seeing inspirational quotes galore and whilst it is lovely to read posts in response to ‘What being widowed has taught me‘, they reflect only the vanilla perspectives.
Many of the widows and widowers who land on this page, or on my blog in general, will be offended at things I say and frown upon my behaviour. Meh. Fuck it. Regular readers already know that I deal with my grief with black humour, sarcasm and wine. Also, just remember that I’m British and in my twenties. We all swear like troopers.
Every bloody day is a Widow Day for me, not that I label it that way. If I were to write the vanilla stuff only, here’s what I’d say in response to ‘What has being widowed taught you?’:
Being widowed has taught me that I am more resilient than I ever knew, and that it is possible to come through tragedy intact, still with the ability to laugh and live. It has taught me that love endures and knows no boundaries.
But really, here’s the Eerily Cheerily British version that typical widow grief media channels would never re-post.
- Being widowed has taught me that grief turns some people into vicious backstabbers.
- Being widowed has taught me the meaning of heartache and pain.
- Being widowed has taught me how much fucking ignorance there is in the world about mental illness.
- Being widowed has taught me how to be an alcoholic.
- Being widowed has taught me that there’s really no better a weight loss method than grieving / widowrexia.
- Being widowed has taught me that botox is the only solution to grief induced wrinkles.
- Being widowed has taught me that some people were never really friends and that in laws can be cruel, homophobic shits.
- Being widowed has taught me that the internet is an excellent forum for spilling your soul to the universe.
- Being widowed has taught me that single portion sized tupperwares do actually serve a purpose.
- Being widowed has taught me that my wife was wrong all these years and that a microwave is an essential kitchen appliance.
- Being widowed has taught me that grief reeeeeeeeally doesn’t stop you wanting to have fucking hot sex.
- Being widowed has taught me that there are some bat shit crazy widows out there who refuse to move forward.
- Being widowed has taught me that it’s impossible to cry all the time.
- Being widowed has taught me the power to forgive myself, my wife, and others.
Go hug a widow and bring wine, ok?